How We Came To Be: In Fix's Words June 18, 2008

Fix’s Version

Life is a wonderful thing.  It gives us happiness, pain and so forth.

  I sat down one day and asked my self what do I want from life?  What do I want to get out of it?  Where do I want to go?

 

As a young adult, I got wrapped up in a bad relationship and had a child, after several years realized she wasn’t the woman for me and not the type of person able to be a loving mother, so I took my daughter and left.  When Temptress and I met, it was love at first talk!  I met her over the phone one day in my lawyer’s office and it went from there.  She flew down for Christmas and we married 4 days later.It has been 15+ years for us and we have raised my daughter and still have four more to raise.

 

Life was different for us, at least for me, it was unusual. I had a lot of issues from my childhood I was unable to share with Temptress. These issues eventually began to affect me and somewhere I got lost on the way.I lost my train of thought and retreated to what I thought was safe haven for me.I worked 24-7.I was never there for Temptress, but for some reason she stayed with me and hung in there for me. We haven’t always had it wonderful and for a few years we more or less simply lived together and it was ok.

Then four years ago, I went astray and had a very short relationship. It was more of a mistake than anything I’ve ever done, but it did serve as a wake up call.I spent more time hiding that mistake than just trusting in the love that would keep us together. We went thru some tough times in the aftermath, but Big and Goddess helped hold us together.You see, our time with them revealed some stuff in me that I would never have thought of.  The emotional roller coaster ride that happens when you think of opening a marriage can be devastating on a soul because it brings a lot of issues to the surface that had been hidden.But to love and be loved is the reason that we share each other.

Women look at love and love leads the way on 90% of their feelings.  But men are a different type.We only let our feelings lead the way when our brain can cope with them. We have feelings that come up from the past. The thought of giving up your wife for another man is the hardest thing for a man to do. We are a possessive type carbon unit – for that matter, the more toys we have, the better we think we are. When we started this quad, the first thing Temptress and I talked about was our hearts.We talked about what we wanted and what we expected to get out of this.  Then we dealt with each step of the journey.

The first thing we had to deal with was that Goddess and I had a physical attraction and an emotional understanding that bonded us together before our quad ever started. On the other hand, Temptress and Big had to work at getting to know each other. So we planned a trip for the four of us to meet in a place far enough out of the way that nobody would know us.We spent 3 days in paradise.  At first, Temptress and I had planned not to leave each other alone, but that was shot the first night. That was the hardest night for any of us. But later we spent hours walking on the beach and talking and things went well.

On the way back Temptress and I changed our life as we knew it, because I finally admitted to her my past mistake.  But by the time we worked out our problem, it was clear it was going to be hard not to let the green eyed monster out.  I made a choice that if I was going to commit to our quad, I would only go in with full heart – and I would have to give Temptress full choice on how, when, where, and what she did with Big.  Unlike Goddess and I, they needed to make a relationship, we just needed to fill in the details.

 

Weeks went by.  I had to work and be out of town in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.  We did lots on the phone and IM chats.  We tried a long distance relationship, but it did not work for any of us.  We were miserable apart, so we moved closer. And then even 7 miles was still not good enough, so we moved in together. Wow what a change! We had a few rough bumps, but its going good.

 

When the four are in synch with each other, life is great and exciting, but from time to time some one falls off the turnip truck. When that happens, we all hold our breath and allow time to work it out. We have learned to slow down for the slowest person – it’s the main rule – so nobody feels left out. 

 

But issues do arise; like family and friends at work finding out.Some may question the moral part of it.I believe what makes my life full is happiness and love; what is wrong with that?  Well, some times people worry about what others think.And what I have found out is most people feel that what ever floats your boat is alright with them. This is 2006 and not 1954. Today alterative life styles are more accepted. We all see things differently than most did years ago. Today life is life – whatever makes you happy is what people want… so, to be or not to be? I choose happiness.

 

Fix