This link was forwarded by a friend…We don’t know these obviously fun loving people but just had to share this amazing show of joy.
The embedding has been disabled, so here is the link… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0
What a way to start your life together! July 28, 2009
The Door May 3, 2009
The door is closed
I know she is on the other side,
tears streaming down her cheeks,
hurtful words ringing in her ears, demands placed upon her.
I want to rip the door apart,
take her in my arms,
and shelter her from the pain.
But I can not.
I must sit and let the two deal with their troubles.
I wish so much for it all to be diffierent.
For everyone to be at peace with the others.
For each to travel the path that brings them happiness
and compersion to all.
Why when we are hurt do we strive to hurt those we love?
Why when a different path is chosen do we demand others must follow?
I sit now, watching the clock.
The minutes tick by, the door remains closed,
my mind conjours her face contorted in pain.
I hurt for her.
I love her.
Turning the Tables April 1, 2009
There reached a point almost 2 years ago when the arguing and hurtful words that Fix and I slung at each other were said to hurt. They may have started as a discussion, as a need to be heard and understood, but eventually it would degrade into sarcasm, hurtful barbs and all out meanness. Threats, ultimatums, and cutting remarks became status quo.
I finally reached a point where I was worn down, I couldn’t fight any longer and I felt like my sanity was slipping away. It was during this time when I found safe haven in the bedroom and in the arms of my Goddess. Things would get awful with Fix and I would retreat to her room where I could cry and she would hold me. Where I could breathe again and she would help me find peace inside. She helped me to shore up my reserves so I was ready for the next battle. I know all of this sounds awful, but for a long while there was love between Fix and I, but there was war as well.
Fix and I needed to learn to communicate, to talk without hurting each other, to learn to listen and understand each other. We needed to learn to argue, to debate, not to fight. We were good at fighting; we had to become good at communicating. Big and Goddess were our role models. Their manner of being able to talk out calmly and rationally even the most difficult of subjects was admirable and something I strove to do.
We are not perfect at this new way of communication, and I expect each of us to slip on occasion, but it is both of our goals to work towards open, honest, CALM , communication now and in the future.
The last several months have been very difficult in our home. While there is joy in having our family back together again, we are still being ripped apart. Big and I no longer have a relationship. He wants Fix and I to take our family and leave. He feels we are the reason he and Goddess are having difficulty overcoming their issues. He demands primary status from her and begrudges every moment of time spent with us. He wants all of her and full open poly for himself. He is so fervent in his desire for his wishes to be met that he is slowly and systematically tearing Goddess apart. I see what is happening to them an almost replay of Fix and I. Old issues, old hurts, things from the past have finally become to much for each of them to deal with and he thinks the way to fix them is to pull her to him and away from us. Sounds familiar.
Even more familiar is their manner of disagreement. While there are no raised voices and the majority of their disagreement is behind closed doors, the words are still hurtful, at times meant to demean or belittle, the threats, ultimatums, sarcasm and cutting remarks are like seeing the last 2 years with Fix in movie replay. He demands she talk when doesn’t want to or feels mentally and emotionally exhausted, at times using what could be called guerilla tactics. Sometimes I see the pain in her eyes after a particularly hurtful “talking” session and I want to rail at him, but know that isn’t my place. Goddess is a strong and capable woman, but there is fragility about her. One that makes you want to protect and shield her. I know Big feel that way about her, he an I have discussed it often. So I wonder now, is it pure selfishness to have all of his needs met and act in a way that pleases only him that has caused him to step away from his usual character and treat her in such a manner??
He and I have spoke often of his depth of love for her, he has been moved to tears often in his description of his feelings. I never once question the truth and validity of such. And I still do not. But I do question if he cherishes her; if he loves her in a way that is open and unconditional. I see no compersion from him where she is concerned. He has no empathy for the feelings of others. He seems to simply want things the way he wants them and expects others to conform. I never really saw this side of him until recently and I am truly broken hearted. I have seen him for three years as a rock, an upstanding, honorable, honest (to a fault) and loving man. All things that caused me to fall deeply in love with him.
But recently I wonder if I was blinded by that love. Did I only see what I wanted???
I am still deeply in love with this man; his absence in my life is painful in ways I can’t describe. I hold it together while he is away working, but when he arrives home and walks into the room no amount of self talk keeps me in one piece. I can’t look into his eyes, I can hardly look at him at all without the ache hitting me with a ferocity that leaves me breathless. How I can I be so desperately in love with this man when I mean nothing to him I do not know. More still, how could I have been so blind these three years? I thought I brought something to him, I thought I meant something to him. I see now I was nothing more than a means to an end. All of those times we were together intimately I would gaze into his eyes and smile at him I thought the smile I was given back for sincere. I think now it was given for the sake of placation. I was a nice diversion when he needed physical relief. I have heard him say to me the words “I Love you” and yet I now know they were not meant, they were not real. He could argue that he loved me once but that he wasn’t “IN” love with me. How then if that was true… if he really loved me in any form could he toss me aside in favor of the new relationship he had yet to find. How could he demand I take my family and leave if he felt anything for me?
Our littlest was 14 months old when we brought this family together. She knows nothing else. She thinks Big is as much her Daddy as Fix is. He walked thru the door last night after 2 days away and I could hear her from the next room gleefully calling “ Hi Daddy” to him. I had to excuse myself and give in to yet another sobbing session. The pain of seeing him and not being able to be a part of his life other than that of a pariah, and to hear my baby girl call to her “Daddy” in welcome without any idea that he would cast her aside along with the rest of us was crippling to my heart.
I know one day the pain will lessen, I know eventually I can get thru a day with out tears. I know that the family we have all created together can and will be spectacular. And I know that if he would just back off, relax his hold a bit and let Goddess come to him in her time he would be able to find that which he seeks. He would be able to find his peace and live his life in a way that would bless him in many ways and that as a family we could carry on our mission of raising these beautiful children together and receiving more love and happiness than we could ever expect existed.
~ Temptress
TMI Tuesday #177 March 10, 2009
This week’s questions were interesting. Let’s proceed:
Are you pro-marriage? Why or why not?
LG~ I think it’s a reasonable choice for those who want such an arrangement.
T~ I am not pro-marriage in the legalistic or Christian view of such. I don’t believe true marriage is an institution, it is a matter of the heart.
Have you ever invented or thought you invented a sexual position?
LG~ well, ya, sort of, but I highly doubt we were the first ones to figure it out. I can say it is not in the 1001 sexual positions chart I bought on the streets of NYC for $1.
T~ That would be an “upside down banana split.” Ah, those were the days…
Do you like to be tied up? Always or sometimes?
LG~ The times I’ve tried it, enjoyed it, but can’t say it would be a routine option.
T~ Only when the mood stikes.
Do you consider online cybering adultery?
LG~ depends on the predetermined statutes of your romantic relationship(s).
T~ If the question is referring to online sexual conversation or erotic photo swapping, then yes, I would consider it adultery unless cleared by all parties.
Do you prefer masturbation over real sex?
LG~ Depends on what you mean by “real sex?” I prefer skin to skin intimate contact over self stimulation, but I prefer my own practiced hand or toy over meaningless or unenjoyable encounters.
T~ NO. yik. Talk about missing out.
Do you want sex more times a day than your partner?
LG~ No. I’m lucky enough to always have willing partners any time I’m interested.
T~ Oh, hell yes, that is a definite without a doubt, without question, YES.
Do you get offended when you partner openly flirts with others or are you okay with it?
LG~ Generally, I’m ok with it, but sometimes I think it’s inappropriate or poorly managed.
T~ Light flirtation is acceptable.
Do you think you’re flirty by nature?
LG~ Ya. ‘Think so.
T~ I have my moments.
The Long and Winding Road September 1, 2008
“The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
I’ve seen that road before
It always leads me here…”
It has been a long 9 months since the night I asked Fix to leave the family home.
Initially the intention was a 3-6 month therapeutic separation. Unfortunately we have surpassed the expected time frame, however I can say with great joy we are on the right track.
Somewhere in the vicinity of mid-July we turned a corner. I can not say what it was exactly that caused the winds to change, but change they did.
The happy smiling man I married almost 18 years ago, the caring warm hearted bear I shared with Goddess 3 years ago, the Daddy the children have waited for, has returned.
We are still taking things slowly, one day at a time, but now we know that each day brings us closer to being under one roof again. Each day brings our family closer to being healed and whole.
~Temptress
Polyamory, Polyamorous, Poly Fidelitous, or Just Plain Poly June 18, 2008
I’m not really certain where I am going with this. In recent years it seems as if polyamory has taken on a life of it’s own. In fact it seems to be becoming more and more publicised and talked about. In fact I dare say it isn’t but a few short steps from becoming a “movement”.
Optimistic I know… but think about it. As time passes more and more people will read Heinleins book… the internet, personal websites, and the multitude of blogs about people in poly amorous relationships is growing daily. Piece by piece, bit by bit, we are all becoming interconnected.
A few months ago I was searching the web about a medical condition. One of my search words dropped me into a blog of someone whose writing I found myself enjoying. Her issues with spouse and child I could relate too. She is not poly… but I fell across her and enjoyed her enough to add her to our blog roll.
Now I wonder… how many people searching seemingly everyday words fall across us by mistake. And how many of these people out of curiosity read our blog. And then come back again and again.
And of these people, how many will turn to the significant other or in passing conversation with a friend mention their findings. From there on, there is no telling what may happen or grow from one planted seed.
Just a thought or two to ponder.
Temptress
Iam sorry too April 5, 2008
for beleaving you when you said to me at the begaining that thay would never come between us that our marrage would hold strong .for beleaving that what were doing could could fill the empty spots in us so we could be happyer and better with each other …. but all this has done has pulled you and i ferther apart…. yes you have gotin your spots filled and big and goddess has also but mine are bigger now then thy have ever been … the new ones are so big i dont know if thy will ever heal. sorry to be the bad guy……to point out the injust….. to point out the walls…. to point out what good for everone else but not to be for me…..except when alowwed and given permission……to be the one to leave and to be the one desmiss from whats the only part left to my soul and being … sorry to ask to be part of my family.. the marrage, the friends.. the quid. and to be part of your missing spots in your all place…. sorry for just needing you and your family …..sorry for not staying calm and quite when what i say has no meaning to enyone and my presence in a room has no place in your alls conversation..sorry for not just sitting in the corner and let you do what ever you want…. sorry for saying” i give you freedom to do this” meaning the quid….. not me…..
I am sorry for you haveing to hold your true you back for 16 years and never being the true you….sorry for you liveing so injustly that you were so unhappy with the life we had….sorry you feel you need to be protected all the time and have so meny fears that you dont need me but need them to do what i could do if i had the permission too … sorry that you dont have the time to show up to our meetings that we have been waiting for for 8 mos.. to try to peace back some of the empty parts ……sorry FIX or mybe BROKEN
My Love April 2, 2008
My selfishness has hurt you.
The pain I see in your eyes haunts me.
I want so very much to fix this, to make it better.
To turn back the clock and have things as they once were.
I know we can never go back to that place.
The place before the hurt.
I want so much to remember the past and go back to it.
You want to forget and move forward.
We both want so much to please the other, and yet our own actions
Hurt the one we love and theirs’ in turn hurt us.
Will we both be able to find a place of peace without losing a part of ourselves or giving up that which is important to us?
I am sorry from the depths of my heart.
Sorry I can not change in the way you need me to,.
Sorry I can not let you go with a glad heart.
And yet wanting so much to hold you close and bring you joy.
I am confused and tangled in my thoughts and in my heart.
I am so very sorry.
I love you.
~Temptress
An Open Letter to Our Husbands March 4, 2008
You accuse us often of being of “one mind,” joined at the hip not only physically but mentally and emotionally. Well, this letter will probably make you think that is truer now than ever before. We are, in fact, two separate people. We have found ourselves in the same place at the same time in our marriages and within ourselves, both now and at times past. We know that you look at us now, wondering who are the women that you see before you.
We certainly don’t bear any resemblance to the women to whom you pledged your love and lives almost 2 decades ago. The women you see today do not dress the same, talk the same, make love the same, or even look the same. We have heard you call us selfish. We no longer bend to your will, we stand up for ourselves and let our wants and needs be known. We tell you that behaviors we once tolerated from you are no longer acceptable.
It is said that women marry men hoping they will change, and that men marry women hoping they won’t. Maybe that is youthful ignorance on our part, or yours, or both. The two of you have changed over the years as well… Perhaps more to the point, you have matured and settled in to the roles of husband and father rather than the roguish boys of your youth.
We married each of you because we love you. From your actions and words we created an idea of what we expected our life with you to be like. Over the years however, we made a grave error. In our quest to please you and create a calm, happy, and loving home we allowed you some freedoms and we took a few of our own that created particular patterns of behaviors. These predictable blueprints became structures we lived under for nearly 18 years.
One of us would choose to be the one who would always submit. In the quest for harmony she would allow you to be the one to lead; to influence her in your choices. You could always convince her that the way you saw things was the way they would need to be seen. She allowed her strong Christian upbringing to guide her in the ways of being a “proper” wife.
The other one of us would take the lead in the marriage, not to be domineering, but to manage everything that might remotely cause you strife or upset. She created a bubble of perfection and calm. Her greatest fear was that one day you would decide you wanted something else, so she protected you at all costs so you could find no fault or reason to stray.
In our efforts to create a happy home and find harmony we lost something important… ourselves. Over the years we tried to fill the holes that grew larger and more ominous with “things;” bible studies, civic groups, hobbies, children’s actives, friends both live and thru the internet. As time passed you became comfortable with the wives you saw and we became shadows of who we knew we really were inside. So the wives you came to know and the behavior you expected from them were really nothing more than the personas we projected. The more we tried to fill the inner gaps with events and undertakings, the harder it was to let our true selves out. After a time, we did not know who we really were; we existed as someone created for a purpose. And if we didn’t understand what we’d done, how could we ever expect you to know?
And then something happened. Almost simultaneously we hit bottom. Emotionally we had nothing left, we went thru the emotions of life not sure of who we were or what we wanted. We began to question everything about ourselves and our lives – about what was real, what we were taught to believe, and what we needed. We met each other and over the years drew strength from each other and as that friendship blossomed into love we finally felt with the other standing at our side we had the strength to let out who we really were inside and to finally reach for not only happiness in our lives, but true contentment within ourselves.
I’m acquainted with a sermon by Pastor Andy Stanley about spiritual drifting; however it is something that applies to us as wives. It is an analogy that I think suits us well. He said… (Paraphrased)
If you allow yourself to drift thru life just going along with the current, at some point in your life you come to a place where you have to make a stand. Either a stand for something or against something or you realize you are dangerously close to going over the edge of some imaginary emotional waterfall.
At some point you find life will force you to stand up. Where you are in the current when you plant your feet has a lot to do with how much pain the drag causes you. If you stand up early when the water is shallow and slow moving there will still be drag; but it will be more easily overcome. If you allow yourself to effortlessly float along on the river to where it is deep and swift, then once you realize there are changes to be made, if you can even touch bottom, you are faced with a huge amount of undertow. Sometimes the current is just so strong at that point that you may end up paying for the ease with which you floated along with the amount of pain and difficulty you face.
That is what we feel we did. We floated along allowing the river to move us on its course and not making one of our own. We passively allowed our life to dictate who we were, not the other way around.
So very often we hear, “You’re not the person I thought you were.” Okay fine. Then get to know the person we are now. Do not expect us to revert to who you thought we were. Not only was I not happy as that person, she was so contrived I don’t think I could recreate her. Please stop telling me, “I don’t know you, I don’t recognize you, MY wife would never do X… my wife would never say X.”
We still love you both to the depths of our being, but we are honest enough now to say “you do not fulfill me in all ways.” You bring me joy and happiness; you bring me love and satisfy my heart and soul in many ways. But there is more to me than I have let you see.
I need to stand up, be who I am inside and let the real me come to the surface. I need you at my side, loving me and letting me grow. I need you to take the time to get to know who I have kept hidden inside so long. Do not expect your will to be mine, or your wants mine. I still have the desire to please you in many ways, but now I want to do it with sincerity and a glad heart, not out of preconceived societal placed obligation as your wife.
Hi, it’s nice to meet you. We are your wives, the mothers of your children and two strong independent women. We would love for you to get to know us… we would love to spend the rest of our lives with you.
~ Temptress and The Laundry Goddess
Pride and Promises February 25, 2008
Over a week ago Fix and I both threw out hurtful words. Hurt , frustration, anger and fear were my catalysts. Jealousy, hurt, and anger were his.
In the blink of an eye we both became people that I did not recognize and that for the better part of our marriage we both swore we would never become if the strength of our marriage waivered.
But there they were, battle lines. Clearly drawn and harshly viewed. And was the battle over…. Our children. The very beings we created in love and professed to care for and protect. They were about to become property to be fought over.
One statement from Fix denouncing the lifestyle I (we) lived and had chosen together, thrown at me in the form of an all out threat had me running for my computer to remove all trace of this life we chose, our poly life together. It was a knee jerk reaction, and one made with the need to protect that which I hold most dear.
Within 48 hours, I deeply regretted all that was said and took a stance of full acceptance and backed down to the majority of Fix’s requests.
As I stood in the window Saturday and watched as our girls loaded into his car fro a weekend at his apt. I felt like my heart was being ripped out. How in the hell had we reached this point?
I have put the website, the forums and the blog, back online. I’ve done this for several reasons…..
1) To show good faith. I have no intention of making our children’s lives a battle ground. I expect no need of the legal system or the courts to decide their fate.
2) I have every hope and expectation that Fix and I will find level ground once again and put or family back together again.
3) If for some terrible unthinkable reason this does go to the courts. I am not ashamed of the lifestyle the four of us chose together. I am willing to stand up and show that our children are happy, healthy and well adjusted. I can not think that having a group of loving parents to watch over and guide them is as awful as some would think.
So while some would call me reckless and out of sound mind to put myself and our life out there when the fate of our children could be in question. I am willing to stand up, hold my head high and show anyone who asks just how wonderful “our poly life” really is.
Temptress
Beware the Beast Within February 1, 2008
Like a wounded animal it strikes
Hungry claws intend to injure or maim
Out of fear it propels the toxin called vengeance
Malicious fangs tear at the place where love lives
Thinking nothing of anything but itself
Hoping to leave a wound, glad to see its mark
Unleashing venom born of bitterness and spite
Recoiling not from remorse, but exhaustion
Bloody and torn the heart hardens its defenses
Pushing care and kindness further towards the dark recesses of the soul
Brokenness embodies a shallow dwelling
And its name is pain.
Beware the Beast Within January 22, 2008
Like a wounded animal it strikes
Hungry claws intend to injure or maim
Out of fear it propels the toxin called vengeance
Malicious fangs tear at the place where love lives
Thinking nothing of anything but itself
Hoping to leave a wound, glad to see its mark
Unleashing venom born of bitterness and spite
Recoiling not from remorse, but exhaustion
Bloody and torn the heart hardens its defenses
Pushing care and kindness further towards the dark recesses of the soul
Brokenness embodies a shallow dwelling
And its name is pain.
~ the laundry goddess, January 21, 2008
Making it right January 20, 2008
Anyone that expects a marriage to be the same at 15 years as it was at 1, or 2 or 5 will be in for a rude awakening.
I am honest enough to admit that in some ways I was under that delusion.
When I married Fix it was a true love at first site story. We met and married in the short space of 28 days. We spent 15 years loving and laughing, raising our children, and standing shoulder to shoulder against the world. Always finding some way to keep afloat and navigate the stormy seas of life. One day I looked up and realized something had changed and my husband was fighting something internally, he was in a place inside himself I could not go. I put more energy into making our home calm and peaceful, helping it to be a place he wanted come to not run away from. Several years after that I looked up once more and realized I was exhausted, the effort it took to make life “just so” for him had caused me to lose myself, who I was and what I wanted.
Looking back on my life now I can see I have always been the strong one, the one my mother leaned on when marriage after marriage ended, when she needed a co parent for my younger brother, when she needed a best friend to lean on. Somewhere inside of me I must have secretly vowed to never repeat her mistakes, to do whatever it took to make my life as normal as possible, to provide my children with stability and father who would not leave and to not burden them with a string of “uncles” and step-fathers.
I can see now I made mistakes in my marriage, I tried to hard to make things perfect, I protected him from to much, when I tried to keep him unburdened with the daily hassles of life, when he offered me the control of the majority of decision making, I took it. I have always been a fixer, a placater, a peacemaker. I guess I just wanted things to be perfect so he would never find fault and leave. In so doing, I messed up…. Sometimes I messed up A LOT.
In ‘05’ I realized I lost myself and in my journey to figure out who I really was I began ot change in a way that unsettled my husband, then the hurricanes came.. he went away to help people rebuild their lives and came home to his own that no longer looked the same.
His nervous breakdown in January of ‘06’ tore down his walls, the demons that I knew nothing of from his childhood, he could not longer contain, the horrors of Katrina and Rita and Wilma were more than he could emotionally deal with. I know he saw things during his time away from us that I may never be able to fathom.
The first 6 months after his breakdown were almost magical, he journaled, he was in therapy , his meds were working as they should and we all settled into life as quad. I can almost say that time was blissful. And then he began to change, his anger and his outburst became more sever and more often. My tolerance and patience for that behavior grew smaller and smaller. I had finally reached a place in my life where I knew who I was and what I wanted and I knew that I could no longer “protect” him.. in fact he came to resent the fact that I had.
I think what it comes down to is that we are both different people now than we were 17 years ago, we both still have similar goals, we both still love each and want to spend the rest of our lives together and we both have issues from our past and our present to work thru. This will not happen over night….. but if we work hard enough and realize this is not a quick fix I am hopeful that in time we can mend what is broke and come back together stronger, better, and more real than before.
So to answer the questions we have been asked…. Fix is not “out” for good. And the quad has no intentions to “break-up”
Yes things are difficult right now, we are all working thru the problems. Fix is participating in specialized therapy to help him with his anger issues, depression and PTSD, all 4 of us also see a therapist to work on the remaining issues.
In time Fix and I will see the therapist jointly and when she deems us all ready, then we will put our family back together under one roof. It is important for everyone to understand that we are not “separated” in the usual meaning. This is what is called a “therapeutic separation” and guidelines and estimated timelines were created and we are working together towards the common goal of re-unification.
Temptress
Elements of Time January 14, 2008
“You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…
… for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to goor a bus to come,
or a plane to goor the mail to come,
or the rain to goor the phone to ring,
or the snow to snowor waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.Everyone is just waiting.
~Oh, The Places You’ll Go! By: Dr. Seuss
I love Dr. Seuss. In my estimation, he is one of the most articulate philosophers of our time. Granted, he doesn’t present his material in a traditional manner, but it’s good for the psyche to hear meditative ideas with a twist. Gives each of us a chance to discover our own “’ah-ha’s.”
Recently I’ve been thinking about how we as a people spend our time. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. No one has a magic formula for stockpiling our wasted time and using it another day. What we do with that period of time with which we’re gifted each day says a lot about our values and priorities.
The good doctor is right about how confusion can waylay us on the road of good intentions. There are days when I want to do, mean to do certain things, but the eternal struggle between vital and urgent seems to always play a part. It is vital that I spend time reading and snuggling with my children, but it’s urgent that we have food in the pantry and meals on the table. Because of that, grocery shopping sometimes takes priority over afternoon reading, or doing the dishes overrides lazy evening cuddle sessions. Where I spend my time, doing what, and with whom is always my choice. Despite my best intentions, I don’t always use my time in a manner that leaves me feeling beneficial to those around me.
Everyone has requirements on their schedules. Everyone has commitments that take time, or have certain hours involved. Jobs, relationships, and health are all areas that demand we give them attention. Without a good balance of work and play, not only are we left feeling one sided, but the disproportionate energies that remain unused can cause terrible consequences down the line.
Brooding, arguing, and blaming are all negative ways to spend our time. Those bad habits accomplish nothing except to harden our hearts and feed our brain an overdose of hostility. Harboring negativity literally eats away at us, causes downward spirals in our health and mental well being, and temporarily increases blood pressure and gut wrenching stomach acid.
How many articles have I read that sited the effect of stress on our health? How many times do you hear people near death regret the time they spent on the job instead of making memories with the people that matter most? When is the last time anyone remembers feeling really good about the way they spent their day? When is the last time you remember falling asleep with a smile thinking about the relationships nurtured that day?
Time is a gift. Time is opportunity. What we do with our time is the quintessential example of, “What you do speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you say.” We are defined by what we do and how we handle ourselves. So what better can we do as a new year begins than be absolutely resolute to live on purpose?
Living proactively is a daily decision. I am determined to not let a day go by without saying “I love you” or “thank you” or “I’m proud of you” or “I’m sorry” when the opportunity arises. I want to look into the eyes of my children everyday and know I’ve been the very best mommy I can for them. I need to rest assured that in every way I acted respectfully to those around me. I want to fall asleep every night feeling that I have put my best foot forward in every interaction.
It is a tall order. I don’t expect to succeed every day in every way. I don’t predict perfection. All I want is to aim high, so when I fall short, I am still satisfied with my performance. I have to be able to look myself in the mirror and know in my heart that the people I care about most be recognize I’ve exhausted myself and the resources at my disposal to make their world a better place.
~the laundry goddess, January 14, 2008
They say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. ~Andy Warhol, American Pop Artist
Time I have only just a minute. Only sixty seconds in it. Forced upon me, can’t refuse it. Didn’t seek it, didn’t choose it. But it’s up to me to use it. I must suffer if I lose it. Give account if I abuse it, Just a tiny little minute but eternity is in it. ~ Christine Warren, Novelist
