It never ceases to amaze me how a person can look at another and create assumptions about who they are and what they are about.
There have been numerous times over these last three years that we have left restaurants etc. snickering and giggling over the perplexed looks the waiter, clerk or other employ has worn in their quest to discern which wife belongs to which husband, which child goes with what mommy/daddy or why the hell is that man kissing two women. I am certain our poly life and the actions we take out in public confuse those in the land of normal.
On some occasions the person is so very blatant about their need to figure it out that we enjoy goosing them, playing a little cat and mouse for our enjoyment.
Today, my Goddess and I were out taking care of mommy duties free and unencumbered by the children who have all now returned to the land of quality education when we for the first time did not need to goose the person with the assumption…. She goosed herself.
LM3 will be taking ballet one day a week at her pre-school. This caused our LM’s 6 and 8 to beg longingly for ballet as well. So my Goddess and I stopped by the ballet school to register the two girls and pay up their first month. We have considered ourselves family from day one and to most people we refer to ourselves as a “blended” family when asked.
When filling out the girls applications today, we decided to fill out only one for ease. The form was made to accommodate more than one child so we thought this was a good choice for all concerned. The form asked for father’s name first, which I drew a line thru and wrote “mother” and then followed it with my name. On the next line that asked for mother I wrote LG’s name.
During the course of the class choosing we had explained that the girls lived together and we were a blended family. When it came time to pay we handed her the amount listed for signing up two children from a family (a $5 discount). We were not looking for a discount per say, really five bucks isn’t going to break us, but in the scheme of things we consider ourselves family, and when we present ourselves as such we expect to be given the same treatment/benefits of such.
The woman says to us that since the girls aren’t really sisters we aren’t considered a family. We both state to her again that we are a blended family, we live in the same home and while they are not “sisters” we do consider ourselves family and they do call themselves sisters. Before we could explain further the woman’s eyes widened slightly and she said no problem, she would accept the discount amount. And then she followed it by saying most women from families like ours, come out and say so right away, she didn’t understand our “situation” at first.
It took LG and I both about 2 seconds to realize that the woman had decided that since no fathers names were on the application, and that we had presented ourselves as family and living together, that in fact we were a lesbian couple.
She spent the remainder of our time there tripping all over herself. She had created an assumption that no matter how wrong (or right) it may have been, she now felt completely flustered by. LG and I did nothing to dissuade her from her chosen assumption, but neither did we do anything to show her she was “wrong”. Over the course of the next 9 months we will be at that dance studio on a weekly basis and in time she will come to know us and our girls and there will be enough evidence to show the real make up of our household.
While we are not hiding our lifestyle any longer per say, for the protection of our children we are not flaunting it. And we have also come to the conclusion that if people get to know us and our kids and then find us to be “normal” and our children well adjusted and happy, then when the “truth” comes out it will be a small blip on their radar and in some way we will have been able to show that families that are different are really just as normal as everyone else.
But in the end, what is normal?
Temptress
