Our Poly Life

Our life as a Polyamorous Quad, with 10 kids.

What’s A Conservative To Do ?

on May 17, 2006

I’m not sure how I got here to be perfectly candid. I consider myself to be a conservative, Christian, republican, entrepreneurial, family man. Now I’m adding oldest poly-fidelity clansman to my roster and I’m not certain how it fits. I had enough to worry about with my health, businesses, and family with my oldest kids entering their teen years. I had mapped out a future that included seminary and international business. I took a turn around a corner and fell down the rabbit hole into a magical world that makes me question everything about myself and my life.

I am accustomed to being totally transparent with everyone around me. What you see is what you get. Now I’m living a secret life as well. Most of the people in my world to date would not be able to mentally process the changes we’ve chosen for our lives. I’ve studied enough material to defend my choices and how they fit in my faith within my own head. I’m still not ready to try to argue said choices with conservative friends and family. I have an incredible group of wise, silver-headed mentors I rely on with my businesses that would probably chalk the whole experience up to demon possession. I have no interest in trying to change their perspective on life. With an average age of 65, these men see life through their own glasses. Most of my views fall in line with theirs, but I do find that some Christian beliefs are created by the more current cultures carrying on traditions rather than on actual biblical teaching. That subject can be a blog for another day.

I thought I had outgrown toddler possessiveness a few decades ago. Fears, doubts, and jealousies can rear their ugly heads when you least expect them. I know we’re still in the honeymoon phase of this relationship. If one relationship between the two of us created the challenges it did, what kind of pandemonium can the six relationships (five of which are romantic) between the four of us create

I find I have much further to travel than my three counterparts. Most of the journey takes place in the six inches between my ears. The lines between genius and insanity grow thinner and more blurry by the day. I don’t think there are many people to whom I would suggest this journey. I’m not sure I would take it again. But now that I’m here, I don’t want to go back. I’ve always liked the saying “what doesn’t kill you, will make you stronger”. I feel like I’m growing by leaps and bounds through this process. .

~B

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: