Our Poly Life

Our life as a Polyamorous Quad, with 10 kids.

Threesomes

on May 20, 2006

In a recent survey, 95% of men admitted that their biggest sexual fantasy is two women at one time. After further research, the other 5% were found to be dead, lying, or deaf. When I start trying to explain to the women in my life why it was such a holy grail, I fall short. How do you explain the male sex drive to women? From puberty until, a young man tries to imagine finding a girl who might actually do “it” with him. Like all young men, a lack of any finesse, actual knowledge, or good pick-up lines proved a bit of a deterrent. After searching for years, some soft creature takes pity on you and you think you found heaven on earth. The idea that you might rate the company of two of these creatures simultaneously is unfathomable.

Of course, the fantasy is always what the first time would be like. If it ever happens, it will be her idea and at her invitation. If it happens once and she approves, realize it will probably happen again. After a half dozen encounters or so, you realize there’s not really that many things you can do with two vaginas that you can’t do with just one. Any position you imagine in these fantasies can be done in two steps with just one lover.

After the first few times, you are in for a few rude awakenings. You probably won’t remain the main attraction for long. At some point their cycles sync up, making life even more of a roller coaster. You’re also about to learn that you don’t know as much about making love to a woman as you thought you did. Remember the Seinfeld when Elaine tries to convert a guy to heterosexuality? She decides she doesn’t stand a chance because the other team has access to the equipment all the time and she only has access for an hour or so per week. Trust me, you don’t hold a candle. The most important thing you bring to bed at that point is a willingness to learn and a pen and paper for taking notes. I used a technique shown to me the other day and set a new personal record for partner pleasing. The rest of the guests at the B&B with the thin walls put us on the ‘Liars or Legends” bulletin board. I’m not sure if we’ll be invited back for free or banned from there forever.

I tell you all this because the biggest reason most guys come down this path is the sexual expectations. Like most things in life, you probably built it up too much in your head. I came into the poly community this way but I have chosen to stay for much different reasons. A wise person learns from others experiences as well as his own. You may be on the outside considering coming in or inside thinking of leaving. As you make any decisions, know yourself, your options, and your reasons. Choose your path wisely.

~B

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