Our Poly Life

Our life as a Polyamorous Quad, with 10 kids.

Tearing down the walls

on June 15, 2006

As relationships go, most of the time you’re building.  Building trust, building respect, building on the ability to understand what the other person is thinking or feeling based on their words or actions or lack thereof.  But in this case, we’re about to start tearing down. 

When our loves moved in, there was plenty of space, but it wasn’t being properly utilized to house a family of 13.  Between our notions of what we needed and Fix’s ability to “weekend warrior” our spaces, we put the kids in temporary shelters and began the feat of moving children around to accommodate everyone’s needs and wishes.   

We’re still in process of completing renovations as time and materials can be afforded, but I’m thrilled that of our 9 children, only LMs 4 and 6 need share quarters.  Everyone else has their own space.  That is very nice for parents as we can more appropriately enjoy our “adult time” which runs from 9 pm until 7:30 am when each of the children can retire to their own space for quiet time in the evenings. 

The one most recent change which thrills me to the tips of my toes is the relocation of Fix and Temptress.  When they first moved in, they situated themselves downstairs in the guest suite where they would have some seclusion and a private bath.  After six months of dodging children on the stairs at wee hours, Big had a most incredible idea! 

So, within a few days we were knee deep in spackle and paint as we completed another four bedroom fruit basket turnover.  Our loves now live upstairs right beside us with only the three youngest LMs to share our level.  The four YM and two older LMs are all now downstairs in what’s lovingly referred to as the “kid’s floor.” 

And what’s the glory in this?  Well aside from closer proximity, our two bedrooms share a wall.  And in that wall lie two closets with another common wall.  You got it – a soon to be created secret passage that will link our two bedrooms in such a way to make movement from room to room much more discrete and easier for all.  I’ve been kidding Fix about busting a hole in the wall to have better access, but he insists what will happen is something more akin to “surgical removal.”  That term in itself speaks for the skill and precision he uses with every task he undertakes. 

While our family is under construction figuratively, we’re also quite literally completing construction on our family’s living space; tearing down to rebuild, so to speak.  It’s a slow change, but is working well all the same.  We’re learning to trust, rely, and lean on one another.  The kids are developing sibling bonds with the opposing kids.  And we parents are maturing past the honeymoon stage and into that mature, comfortable, and contented type of love that builds family ties and leaves a legacy of love. 

~Goddess, 6-15-06

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