Our Poly Life

Our life as a Polyamorous Quad, with 10 kids.

Hope Floats

on June 29, 2006

In my many years of being accused an eternal optimist, I’ve rarely encountered a situation that looked so dismal that I couldn’t pull out a ray of sunshine on some level.  Consider me a perpetual Pollyanna because I just don’t see the point of focusing on the potential negative outcomes of any situation. 

The way I see it, it’s all about expectations and self fulfilling prophecies.  Perhaps it’s the years of professional training in the “positive mental attitude” camp, but I firmly believe you have to create the future you want for yourself and that begins with the seeds you plant in your own fertile mind.  Don’t like the direction something is going?  Erase those pathways and create some new ones that go down a different course. 

I’ll give you the fact that it’s all easier said than done.  Many times we have all this baggage from years of doing it wrong, or having it modeled wrong for us when we were children.  Bad habits ingrain early and stay late.  Of course backing up and redoing many years of negative ways will be harder than “letting sleeping dogs lie,” but I know from experience, those dogs you let lie wake up as tigers, and when they do, their appetite is voracious.  It boils down to taking control of your life or letting your life control you. 

What I know is that no one promised this life would be fair, or even easy.  At some point you have to take responsibility for your own attitude and take steps to steady the position you choose in life.  There are consequences to every action, whether good or bad; whether immediate or delayed.  You can’t always see them coming, but generally, you can surmise the possibilities.  With a little forethought you can avoid a lot of pain and in the process build yourself the dreams you said you wanted.  

I have heard said, “If you don’t get what you want in life, either you didn’t want it badly enough, or you quibbled over the price.”  I cannot begin to emphasize the truth in that statement.  I’ve found it to be accurate more times than I care to count, even when I didn’t want to acknowledge its truth. 

But in this instance, I want what I want far more than I want pride or righteousness or self gratification.  I have forever on the brain and I’m not the kind who thinks quitting because something gets complicated is an option.  I know we have what it takes to make it, I am willing to do whatever it takes on my part, and I’m betting my loves feel the same way.  I’m not going into our new arrangement with a “let’s see if this will work” kind of attitude.  I have a “do or die trying” mentality.  And in the immortal words of one heck of a wise little green man, “There is no try, only do.”  Good thing we’re all Star Wars fans. 

~Goddess, 6-29-06

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