Our Poly Life

Our life as a Polyamorous Quad, with 10 kids.

Dangerous Liaisons

on July 1, 2006

I’m the type of person that hates conflict of any kind.  I was raised in a nonviolent family and there was rarely any quarreling.  The very thought of confrontation makes my stomach churn.  The peacemaker in me will do practically anything to keep my environment calm and serene.  I believe that in most cases, diplomacy can rule and understanding can come to even the testiest of situations.  But I’m also fully aware that this is not the way for everyone. 

Big has always been my problem solver.  If there was an issue that required boxing gloves, rather literally or figuratively, he was the one to put them on and settle things for me.  Financial disagreements, territorial disputes, or legal clashes were his to handle.  He doesn’t really like them any more than I do, but he handles it so much better.  It is just one of the many ways he protects me.  So its safe to say I’ve had very little exposure to the no holds barred, everything is free game, say what whatever will cause the most pain style of fighting. 

Not to begin pointing any poly fingers here, but I’ve recently been exposed to some knock down drag out mud slinging opposition.  It turns my blood cold and I don’t know what to do with that kind of (non) conflict management.  Of course, being that the people involved are so very near and dear to my heart, I feel the instant urging to jump in and offer up advice or a sympathetic ear; ANYTHING to keep the conflict at bay. 

Liaison is a term given to describe a person who communicates and/or mediates between parties.  One would need to be level headed and unbiased.  I can see where I might be good at that job if those third parties were complete strangers to me.  I could be useful if the situation didn’t stir up my feelings of fear or generate mental images of buildings destroyed or hearts lying in rubble.  From my perspective, there is no neutral middle ground. 

The ability to see both sides of an argument was great when I was studying debate, but in real life, that teeter totter between he said/she said is enough to send me running for the nearest dark corner where I can safely hide until the situation passes.  And while I’m there, I’d enjoy a valium or a sleeping pill of some kind.  And wake me when it’s safe to come out of hiding. 

~Goddess, written in Vegas 2

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