Our Poly Life

Our life as a Polyamorous Quad, with 10 kids.

Inequality

on July 4, 2006

There I a word that plagues our quad…. Inequality.

Our situation is unique in several factors…. Over the last 6 months we had a routine.
At 5 a.m. Goddess and Fix would meet in th kitchen for breakfast, whereby she would pack his lunch and see him off to work.

At 7 I arose along with Big to help ready the 9 for school and pre-school. The Goddess would scoop up the two youngest take them off to pre-school where she also happened to work.

Now this left Big and I…. we work from home most days. There are occasional meetings at other locations. And once in a awhile we get an overnight for ot of town business. But for the most part, we work from home.

This is where the “inequality” began to rear it’s head. Big and I would inevitably find ourselves sharing in some private time on several of the these days where we found ourselves alone.

Fix and Goddess however, got no real alone time unless a “swap” was arraigned for the evening. This was problematic as I am sure you can guess. I got a lot of snide remarks from Fix often… “ it must be nice” was the standard one. Big and I were and are aware of that inequality…. But Fix’s work schedule really allows for little more. Of course this causes difficulties all around.

Now as the school year has closed and Goddess has resigned from teaching in order to be home full time, new inequalities have emerged. Of course with 9 kids home all day who have no idea of the full relationship there really aren’t a lot of opportunities for us to get together. But now when an opportunity arises…. Big and Goddess and I take advantage of it. While Fix will say I am glad you found time…. And I feel he sincerely means it, there is still that sense of inequality haunting him.

We had a convention for our company and it was decided that we would fly in a day early and stay 3 days late, thereby not only giving us from fun play time as a quad….. but while Big and spent 3 straight 14 our days at the convention, Goddess and Fix would have some time to enjoy each others company. We knew this would by no means level the scales if one were to keep count. But Big and I hoped in some small way it would help them to feel as if they were getting some time together.

One of the greatest hurdles is that the children fully understand Big and I leaving for business…. But what excuse do we come up with to get Goddess and Fix away for a weekend ?? It is question we have asked often.

And now the morning of our next to last full day has dawned. Fix and Goddess are the quiet souls, so when we found ourselves at a fun loving bar catering to the dance crowd for dinner, it was Big and I who began to loosen up and enjoy the time spent there. At close to 10 Fix and Goddess chose to turn in and Big and chose to remain to enjoy the still young evening. They sauntered off to the room and we stayed until 2 dancing and enjoying and out of character experience. Upon our return, a quick shower and and almost as brief window of private time was shared. And so we drifted off to sleep to the sounds of Goddess and Fix snoring softly thru the connecting door of our rooms.

Fast forward about 4 hours…..

I awoke to a rustling and thinking Goddess and Fix were just waking I slipped thru the doorway to be greeted by a unclothed Fix. This compounded my thought that indeed they had just awoke. I slid into bed and he joined me…..I was in hopes of possibly sharing time him. And then he said…” Hi Baby, we were just about to have some time together since we went right to sleep last night, but that’s ok… you can join us”

Instantly alarm bells went off in my head…. I had interrupted their time…. The precious commodity of time alone that they so rarely share. I jumped up from the bed and so ok… well I’m sill tired I’ll go back to the other room so I can sleep. I slipped into the bathroom for eye drops ( sandpaper contacts) and met a clothed Goddess. I asked why she was dressed and she replied that they had just returned from breakfast.. I said “ well there is a nekkid man in there, you should join him” and breezed out. Goddess asked before I slipped back thru the door if I would join them.
Oh how I would have loved that. But in the eyes of myself and Big… the reason we decided to make this a full vacation , not just work, was to help level those scales of inequality. So again I stated my intention of continued sleep and crawled into bed next to the still sleeping Big. I closed my eyes and spent an good 15 minutes trying to go back to sleep…. But to no avail.
Rather I laid there and began to consider this Blog….. if the 4 of us love each other we do, why then is there a need by some to measure ?? To carry the scale of equality.

My reason for NOT joining them even though I wanted to, was so as not to infringe on THEIR time…. Thereby making it our time. Sounds strange I know. But this is an issue that this quad struggles with. How to be equal, to be “fair”.

In a perfect world…. Or just maybe even smaller, in a perfect quad, this would be no issue.

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