Our Poly Life

Our life as a Polyamorous Quad, with 10 kids.

Beware the Purple Lipstick

on September 5, 2008

When Art Linkletter told us kids say the “darndest” things, he never considered the sex positive slant.


I’m not sure how publicly we’ve advertised, but Temptress and I signed up last winter to be adult toy reviewers.  For the low price of a speedily posted and well written review, we are gifted several toys a month that we can test and keep.  The older children are aware of this side gig of ours because when we began, we had to warn them off from opening boxes addressed to the Mommies.  We wouldn’t want them opening a box expecting a birthday gift to be scarred for life by what they’d seen.


Despite our growing collection of adult toys, every once in a while I spot something I just must have, so I’ll buy it for myself.  Recently I bought a “lipstick” vibe.  When the item came in the mail I opened it up, installed the batteries and dropped it into my purse.  Temptress looked shocked and said, “Why in the world are you putting it in there?” (ok, that was a warning)


“Because,” I replied, “that is where you keep lipstick, right?”  I did purchase said item with the intentions of keeping it close by for those impromptu moments when I might not be at home near the toy box.  So in the purse it stayed for a couple of weeks until one day when Miss Academic, age 15, went looking for lip gloss in my bag.


We were sitting in the doctor’s office waiting area when she grabs my purse, opens it up, and pulls out the shiny purple lipstick (FYI, it really DOES look like a tube of lipstick, even with the inconspicuous dial at the bottom.)  “What color is this one?”  she asks, holding the cylinder in the high in the air.  I look over (forgetting momentarily that I had anything unusual hidden in my bag) and started laughing.


“Don’t open that!”  I said, “You will not appreciate that particular lipstick.”  (a devilish, evil grin spread across my face)


She looked at me puzzled, then this look of sheer horror crossed her face as she dropped the vibe back in my purse and practically FLUNG the bag in my direction.  “Ewwwwww, MOM, gross.  Do you HAVE to carry one of those things in your purse?  What’s wrong with you?  If you were a prude like most moms I wouldn’t have to deal with this.”


“If you stayed out of my purse or asked first, you wouldn’t have to deal with this either,” I reminded her.


But it started me thinking about progressive parenting and sex positive messages.  We are very open in our home about adult realities, not only with the nature of our poly parenting and our status as reviewers, but the responsibilities that adult behaviors bring.  Our children know we have sex, they know we like sex, and they know sex is a good thing when experienced in a mature and responsible way.  But they also have heard us say many times, that engaging in sexual activity is a responsibility.


I want our children to know that when the time comes for them to ask questions or need advice of a more adult nature, the parents are the “go to” people.  I remember the type of misleading opinions I heard from peers as a teen and young adult.  It only makes sense if one required accurate information, that person would go to a reputable and experienced advisor.  At least that is what we’re trying to teach our kids.


In the meantime, I’m content with just grossing them out just a little while longer.


~ the laundry goddess, September 5, 2008


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