Our Poly Life

Our life as a Polyamorous Quad, with 10 kids.

Soulmates – an incomplete short story

Soul Mates




The sun bounced off of their hair as they sat side by side in the flowered meadow. One golden head with bouncing curls intermixed with the liquid caramel of the other. They whispered and giggled like young girls do, making daisy chains and talking for what seemed an eternity.

Most days were spent like this….. each happy to be in the company of the other. They were inseparable. They knew that some day they would be chosen. They would get a Mommy and a Daddy and they would be earthbound children then. But neither of them wanted to think of that. In fact they had been together so long that they had all but forgotten about being born. If and when the thought crossed their minds they were so sure that they would go together, they just knew they would arrive to their earthly destination as twins. There was no way ” The One” would separate them.

 The two elders watched the girls from a distance. Both knew that the task at hand was going to be ever so hard. The two had become favorites, they should have been sent long ago but no one had the heart to separate them and so they were moved to the bottom of the list…. often.

Finally the time had come, there were no more excuses, they had earthly parents waiting for them.

Late that night as the stars twinkled and the girls curled together like puppies in the silvery moonbeams the elders softly whisked them away to their earthly selves.

They had waited far to long to separate them, the one was due to be “born” to her parents any day now, the little soul should have been safely settled months before. The other still had 4 earthly months to wait under the shelter of her mothers heart. The elders had never seen two little souls so interconnected, so attached to each other. This was truly the hardest task they has been asked to do.

 They wondered why they were not being sent as twins or at the very least siblings. But one does not question the Father in his grand plan. As the elders returned from their task they were uncertain of the future of the two. They knew that the little ones memories of their heavenly life faded, but they wondered, as connected as those two souls had been…. would they be ok?

 And so within days of the little soul’s arrival one was born. Her mother chose to call her Holly. She was a quiet baby. Her family described her as watchful. She would lay in her seat or crib quietly, always watching, seemingly waiting for something or someone. Her Great Grandmother would say that she was an old soul… “Look at her eyes” she would say…. “They have stories”.

 As the weeks and months wore on she grew to be a happy baby, cheerful and bubbly.

She talked early and walked late. She was always happiest in the sunbeams…. If left on her own she would invariably be found sitting in a beam of light happily babbling to herself. Her Great Grandmother would often say she was talking to the dust fairy’s.

But her mother knew better. She knew it was the angels she was talking to. Over her wicker Bassinette had hung a mobile of wooden angels…. She was always drawn to that and could not sleep without it spinning gently over her head. And by the time she moved from crib to bed the mobile had been replaced by a small porcelain angel that sat on her night table. When ever she was out and about, any angel she saw she was drawn to….

 Her first few years were as normal as any other child’s, but that soon changed. Her parents divorced and her mother re-married time and time again. Each time Holly was shuttled to a new school a new home, a new state. As she grew to be an adult she did as most girls , she met a man, married and had children.

She was happy, she was in love and life didn’t get much better than that. But somewhere…. Somewhere deep inside her was place that was empty. A place that she came to realize had been empty all of her life. She always carried the thought that a piece of her soul was missing. She thought when she married that empty place would be filled.

But, no…. not even the love she felt nor the love returned to her filled that spot. Most time she ignored that little place. She told herself she had all a woman could need… what more could be there to fill that spot?

 Within four shorts months of Holly’s arrival, the other little soul was born to her parents.

Melody had the bluest eyes, they were soft and gentle and held the wisest of expressions at times. Melody loved the sunbeams, waking to the light spilling across her bed was what made her happiest. She was a quiet child, but happy and effervescent all the same.

She always seemed to be searching for something. Something illusive and un-reachable.

 Her parents loved her very much, but like Holly’s, they divorced very early on. Her mother never re-married, and Melody spent her summers and holiday’s visiting her father. Being shuttled between two parents is never and easy way to grow up… but she did it with grace. She always felt like she was searching for “her place” in this world.

And then she married, and had children. Her life as a wife and mother was happy and fulfilling. She loved her children and her husband and she worked hard to be the best possible wife and mother. She always felt in some way she had been slighted by life, dealt a short hand. And she never wished her children to have that feeling. As the years wore on she filled her days with activities trying to fill the empty spot that gnawed at her. She always felt if she were “better” at whatever her chosen job of the day, week, or month was, she could fill the void that seemed to demand attention with each passing year.

 The elders sat in the twinkling star light watching the scene below. . They had kept watch over the two little souls, they had laughed with them, rejoiced with them and cried with them and for them.

“How can two who are so happy… be so lost?” the one asked. ” They don’t know what it is they are missing” replied the other…. ” but they know that something is”.

” I feel such an ache for them…. I wish there was some way to help them find each other.”

“You know that’s against the rules, we can’t interfere in the Father’s plan”.

” How do you know that somewhere along the way it isn’t in his plan… we can just hurry it up a bit”.

 The elders looked at each other for a moment and then an unspoken thought came to them both. Softly they crept to the silvery moonbeam… and curled up tight , fast asleep were two little souls…. A little towheaded boy and a golden haired girl. They held hands as they slept, each with a sweet smile of innocence on their face.

 Quietly each elder picked up a sleeping soul. ” We are separating two soul mates again, will this work” the one elder asked.

“It just has too” replied the other……..

 A few weeks later, and most unexpectedly, Holly and Melody had unexpected news for their husbands, there would be a new baby for each family .

As if drawn by an unseen force each woman gravitated to the land of technology. It was the wondrous invention of the computer that would leave the elders smiling with glee. They had set the stage. Now all they had to do was wait, and hope the two realized they had found what they lost.

 Chapter One


The deep caramel of her hair glistens in the soft candle light, and her eyes become luminous pools of aqua as she turns towards me and smiles.

My breath catches in my throat as the love I feel for her washes over me. I love her in a way that transcends all time.

She is my other half, my soulmate. The missing piece of my heart that I have unknowingly searched for. I begin to wonder if this weekend away was a mistake. How can I keep my feelings hidden from her ??? And if she knew….. would that end our friendship. I couldn’t bare to lose her… I would almost rather suffer in silence, living life as just her friend than to have her cut me out of her life because of the love have for her.

 Here I sit happily married with a gaggle of kids, she has a family the mirror image of mine. We met online in a chat group when we found ourselves expecting our 4th children, a little towhead boy for her and little girl with golden curls for me.

There was an instant connection. A solid friendship that we couldn’t explain. For 6 years… we grew closer than one could imagine. Sharing life joys and pain via the phone, internet and the occasional short day trip that the distance between our two homes would allow. As time passed I felt as if I slighted her when I referred to her as “my friend” . She seemed to be ever so much more. I just could never put my finger on it to describe what she really meant to me.

At least until that day last year…….

 We talked by phone, general chit chat. A quick rundown of how our families were doing. I enjoy hearing her voice… she has an easy manner of speech with a slight lilt in her voice, and she speaks in slow soft way that is soothing to the ears. There was no earth shattering realization of my feelings…. Just and enjoyment of our conversation.

 Later that evening long after my husband and kids were fast asleep, insomnia had taken a firm hold on me and I logged on to my instant messenger. Surprisingly enough, there she was. She admitted that she too was burning the midnight oil for some unknown reason. We spent the next several hours chatting until the wee late hours of night. Our conversation moved from general friend and family chit chat and we found ourselves conversing on deeper topics. We came to the realization that we each were finding ourselves ready to move beyond “wife and mother” and find out who we really were or more to the point who we had become over the last 17 years after giving our all to our families. Just before we said our goodnights she recalled that she just gotten in some pictures from a recent vacation and said she would email them to me. We said our goodbyes and I decided to check my mail and see the pictures before turning in.

 As I viewed each one of photos filled with smiling children and a happy looking hubby I smiled to myself while I soaked up the joy each photo had captured. I scrolled to the last one my breathing changed and my heart began to pound. It was a simple picture… she had been caught unaware, looking off into the distance with a relaxed smile gently curving her lips.

Like a dagger to my heart I realized with the full force of a tidal wave that I no longer felt the love of friendship. But it was that delicious and breathtaking, deep, romantic soul touching love.

 I slammed the lid of my laptop and slipped out my back door to sit near the waters edge of our small lake. Tears rolled down my cheeks in pain, desire, love and shame. The emotions rolled in my heart as I watched the sun crest the roof tops of the neighboring homes. What was I thinking, how dare I let my heart and head venture there?

What kind of woman did that make me? And now that I had this knowledge in my head and my heart how could I talk to her in our daily chats and not tell her how I felt?

I decided then and there she could never know. I would rather love her from afar than lose her.

 And now here we sit a year later. A seaside condo rented for the weekend so we two couples could enjoy time as friends away from our kidlets. Our husbands, who have become friends thru us, are out enjoying an evening jog and we suspect a stop at the local eatery for a drink or two before bringing a late dinner back to the condo for the 4 of us to share. That leaves the two us on our own to “catch up” as the boys call it. My throat constricts as I ach to free myself of the guilty secret I have harbored these long months.

 Slowly she turns her head in my direction and she raises her eyes to meet mine. I feel pinned by her as I am sure she can read my thoughts and emotions in my eyes. Slowly she slides her hand across the few inches of space that separates us and lays it gently on my knee then she softly exhales as if she was holding her breath. I almost get the feeling she is working up the courage to say something. And then as if in a dream she moves closer to me and lays her soft hand along my cheek. Time stops as her face moves mere inches from mine. I look directly into her eyes and I see her emotions mirroring mine….

 Fear and love are the two that shine brightest. I reach up and lay my hand against the one cupping my cheek… I move closer to her, our lips almost touching. And finally I can stand it no longer. “Melody…. please forgive me ” I whisper as I close the space between us and capture her soft pink lips with mine. I feel her body, tense with emotion, stiffen for a mere fraction of time and then she melts into my embrace. Our kiss deepens and moves from tender exploration to an expression of love and passion. Hesitant at first, she takes my face in hers and in an instant I have gone from being the explorer to exploree.

 She is the first to break the kiss. We both pull away slowly as if in a dream, breathless and slightly dizzy, tears of sweet relief coursing down our cheeks. I meet her eyes, unsure of what I would see there. And softly I say to her ” I love you, I adore you, I desire you in a way I feel I shouldn’t. I have been so afraid to say anything to you”.

And in that soft southern tone of hers she returns my sentiments. And we both giggle nervously as we realize the situation we now find ourselves in. What do we do, or say. Where to do we go from here?

 Finally she is the one to break the silence that has floated over us.”Holly, I knew something was different with you, I have felt it for months”. After taking a deep breath she begins again….. ” I have had this emotion, this feeling I could never name until you arrived this afternoon. When I saw you across the parking lot, I realized what it was…… I love you, I think I have for a very long time”

 We sat for a time just looking at other, neither really sure where to go from here.

 To be continued ………………


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